Time dimentional shifts and cooking dinner...

I am a huge Doctor Who fan. Does that make me a nerd? Perhaps!
The reason that I mention this is because if there was one question that I could ask him as a SAHM it would be explain why it takes two hours or more to cook a meal, and only 20 minutes to eat it?
I mean seriously, how is it possible?
And just to add insult to injury how is it that the reverse can also happen? How can a five year old child take 20 minutes to eat one mouthful of food? Surely after that amount of time there is no longer anything of substance left to eat! After five minutes it should just slide down her throat.

Also while we are on the subject of time, where does the three hours between 1pm and 4 pm go? Every day this time of day seems to take on the quality of 20 minutes. I sit down after feeding my hoard lunch, wash and clean up, and then it's time to feed them again. How?

I wish these time shifts could be controlled ... imagine how fantastic life would be ...

The alarm goes off and the five minutes extra of snooze time feel like two hours of lie in! Doing  the laundry suddenly feels like it only took five minutes!
Grocery shopping now can be done in what feels like ten minutes flat!

That would be awesome ... :0)